Wilted Rose
by Youko-Kali
Summary: Kurama's life gets taken during the mission and one night Hiei learns to cope with the difficulties of living without his fox. Rewrote the summary. HieixKurama. Yaoi. Character death.


Kali: Yeah... This is a sad fic... Tonight at about 10:45 we had to take my dog to the hospital. Its 12 AM now and she is about 12 miles away sleeping with a I.V. in her leg, with possiblities of kidney and Lvier failure and possibility of Ceisures.  
  
Kurama: *Pats Kali's head*  
  
Hiei: *Silence*  
  
Kali: So any way, I'm listening to a song that I used to listen too after my first dog died, and now it reminds me of how I feel for my current dog Sonja. I'll update about her in another chapter to one of my other two stories, or maybe another chapter of this one.  
  
Kurama: Kali doesn't own YYH, *Doesn't make normal snide comment*, and she doesn't own the song Iris. Both belong to their respective makers and what not.  
  
Hiei: *Silence*  
  
* = Song lyrics  
  
// = Flash back  
  
This story is in Hiei's POV. The song is Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls. This story is YOAI and DEATH. Please, no flames, I'm already upset enough as it is.  
  
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*And I'd give up forever to touch you  
  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
  
And I don't wanna go home right now*  
  
It all seemed unreal. Seeing every one else, all with the same looks of agony, pain, self tourcher inside. All thinking that some how, some way, they could have prevented this. Weather it was Koenma thinking that he shouldn't of sent us on the mission, or Shori thinking she should have kept her son home that night. It didn't matter, it happened and now we had to watch as he was placed underground. No one would ever have thought this would happen, all of us living in out own little worlds where we believed we were immortal... I wonder if he felt the same. Now every one was leaving. Some females sobbing, others silently letting the tears fall, same for the males. I didn't want to leave, he was my home, and now I was alone.  
  
*And all I can taste is this moment  
  
And all I can breathe is your life  
  
And sooner or later it's over  
  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight*  
  
//It all happened so quick that I wasn't sure if it had happened at all. The 4 of us leapt as one, each weilding our own weapons. The first to strike was Yuusuke, his spirit gun missing. Then was me, my blade slamming down on the arm of the demon. I was expecting it to cut through, instead it hit a hard shell like skin. Then was Kurama, his whip lashing out. Kuwabara striking only seconds after... Only seconds after and yet, he wasn't harmed... The creature had lashed out at the 4 of us. Yuusuke was too far away, and I leapt aside. Kurama and Kuwabara were close, but the big baffoon was just far enough away that he only recieved a gash to his side. Kurama though... His entire front was shredded. Blood was quickly pooling around him. Far quicker then we could keep it in.  
  
Yuusuke and I finished off the demon, both of us fighting with fire in our veins. Kuwabara was helping Kurama try to wrap and apply herbs to it, both knowing it was pretty much useless, but still trying. I finally got over there as fast as I could. Kurama had laid back, to tired from blood loss to sit up any more. Both himand Kuwabara had stopped trying to keep him from bleeding, there was nothing we could do any more. I could see Kurama's white ribs slightly through the torn flesh, some of his organs showing aswell. Yuusuke tried to make a few jokes, trying to keep the rest of us in a light mood, it wasn't working. Only days before had Kurama and I finally relized how much we loved each other. It had been ackward, tell him. Turns out he had heard me say something in my sleep.  
  
He had timidly questioned me in the morning and it lead onto other things and words that at this moment I relized I may never hear again. I sat down, placing his head in my lap. He smiled at me, holding my hand and whispering words so softly, even I could barely pick them up. This was the first time either of us had openly let on towards the others what we felt for one another, but no matter what they were thinking, the other two never said anything. Slowly his voice faded away, his body laxing, and soon his hand slipped from mine as his eyes became lifeless adn slowly shut. I bit back a whimper of agony, this was all a dream... wasn't it? I faintly heard Yuusuke curse and rant, I could tell by his voice he that he was only trying to cover up his tears.  
  
Kuwabara hung his head, silently bearing it. I didn't care about them though at this moment... It was all about the red head that I was holding. I wanted to hit him, claw him, kiss him, any thing to make him react, to make him wake up. I placed my lips on his, desperatly hoping that they would respond and move agianst mine, that i would feel warm air drift up from between them, but nothing. I faintly remembered feeling a single trail make its way down my face, making a soft thud as it hit the ground. Beside his head glittered a marble sized black gem. I pocketed the gem, picking up his body and silently walking off. I could feel them staring at me for a while, but soon they followed. If I ever found the soul of the demon that killed my fox... I would tourcher it for all of eternity.  
  
I didn't want to go back though. If I went back I would see everything that reminded him of me, and it would all come back. I wanted to go to sleep and stay there with my dreams of him, where he still was alive. All my life was placed in the moment he died, and now it was gone, I had nothing. I once had Yukina, but now she had Kuwabara, some one who showed her love for her, and some one who was honest, who had no terrible past that would tarnish her.//  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
//I didn't want to let him go as Koenma took his body slwoly from my arms. I saw him glance at me nervously, and quiet often, afraid that Iw ould lash out at him for touching Kurama. I stayed mute though, wallowing in my pain, in the numb feeling I had. Koenma set him down on a couch hat seemed to come from no where... funny... I never remembered Koenma having a couch in here. Botan was standing by Kurama's legs crying. Yuusuke was standing in a corner by the couch looking on with a falorn look. Kuwabara was standing at the foot of Kurama, staring off into space. He looked as if he were staring at Kurama, but his eyes were unfocused. I stood by Kurama's head. SLowly I felt my hand reach out and run through his hair. Even in death it was still silky and soft. I pulled 6 strands from his hair and pocketed them.  
  
No seemed to notice my actions. My hand was still in my pocket, I could feel the steady weight of my tear gem sitting there. I finered it slightly before I pulled my hand from my pocket. It was time to return home, as much as I disliked the idea. Koenma said he would take care of returning Kurama's body, he didn't wany any of us to have to do it. Yuusuke offered to let me stay at his house, but I declined. I settled for the tree outside of Kurama's room. It bothered me not to see the lights on, seeing Kurama going back and forth as he got ready for bed, as ningen's said. I hated to look in and see his bed empty. FInally though I drifted off.//  
  
*And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
And you bleed just to know your alive*  
  
Genkai told me it was best if I cried. I just snorted and told her crying was for the weak... Besides... I had already cried all that I could. That single gem ment everything. Never in my life through any pains I have ever had, have I ever cried. And at that moment, that gem was like a million tears. I never seemed to notice the bite of my nails as they dug into my skin as I finally started to walk away. Yuusuke was standing beside a tree, waiting for me. He began to walk along next to me as I finally caught up to him. Both of us were silent. Finally he spoke, "Whats that?" He pointed at my left wrist. That was the hand Kurama had been holding before he died. Around it were the 6 strands of Kurama's human hair, and a single silver strand that I had gotten from the youko. The 7 were woven around and made a tiny net.  
  
In the net rested my tear gem. I held it up slightly so Yuusuke could see it, but I said nothing. Yuusuke blinkd, "Is that... a tear gem?" I nodded. Yuusuke looked as if he were going to ask something else but my dark look made him keep his mouth shut. I wasn't in the mood for his questions. I just wanted to wake up from this and hold Kurama for hours and stroke his hair. Some where deep inside I knew that wasn't going to happen though. Yuusuke waved off offers to drive him home and he walked with me. Neither of us were going any where in particular, just any where. Some how we ended up at Kurama's house. The two of us stareing up at his room. The lights were on, his mother was probably in there, mourning over the loss of her son. I looked down at my left hand, 4 faint red cresent moon marks on it. The bleeding had stopped a while back.  
  
Everyone kept saying it would be okay, that we would be able to get over this pain and move on, thinking of happy memories. How could I? How could I get over the only thing that had only loved me for myself, what was inside? The pain in my chest felt like it was slowly eating me alive and I felt as if I would be overwhelmed with it. Fianlly Yuusuke tugged on the sleeve of the black shirt they had gotten me to where. Yuusuke spoke of going back to his house. I mutely nodded and followed, I didn't want to spend my night here, though inside it felt as if I were betraying him.  
  
*And I don't want the world to see me  
  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything is made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am*  
  
The days seemed to drag by. There was no more wakin up to the scent of Kurama, no more reason to wait in a tree outside that ningen school. There was no longer even a reason to talorate the presence of the others. I didn't want to see them, seeing them only made me thing of him... My fox. I had been wandering the ningen cities, going back to makai every now and then, I had visted Yukina once to see how she was fairing. She tried to act happy, but I could see her sadness. Finally I had been found and brought by Botan to Koenma. They wanted to send me one a mission, hoping to maybe take my mind off Kurama and get me to interact with the others again. I mutely agreed. I had been doing that alot lately. The mission hadn't helped though. Some where deep inside I still felt that pang.  
  
I was resting out on the limb of a half dead tree resting in the middle of a open clearing. My eyes half lidded staring up at the stars with a ageless look of tiredness and self hate. Slowly I began to remember something, what Kurama had told me the night we had first made love. He nuzzled his face into my neck and said something, something I shouldn't have forgotten...  
  
//"Hiei?" I blinked my eyes lazilly, half asleep, "nani?" Kurama was silent for a moment, his body was slightly tense, a uncomfortable air about him. I was worried that for a second he didn't love me any more, before I relized he was talking, "If I die... promise you won't stop your entire life over it... okay?" I paused for a moment, my eyes widening. Death? Why was Kurama thinking about that? Was he ill? Kurama laughed for a second, seeming to have read my mind, "No no no. I'm fine, but promise me okay?" I paused before nodding, "I promise."//  
  
I felt a slight smile curve at my lips. I stared up at the brightest twinkling star and nodded, "I promise." Then I let sleep claim me.  
  
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Kali: That took me about and hour and 16 minutes... I hope you liked it... its not the best, but I was making it up as I went. I had no real plot in my mind, just a death fic. ^^; I had to fight my dad to stay up until 1:30 to finish this. Its 1:17 now.  
  
Kurama: ... WHy do you take your anger and depression out on us?  
  
Kali: Cause its more creative then crying and moping?  
  
Hiei: Hai  
  
Kurama: ^^;  
  
Kali: R&R, please no flames, now isn't the time for those. I might make a sequal. I have a good idea for it, but then again, thats only if I can think up a plot. Mind you its 1 AM, plase ignore typos. 


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